If you haven't figured it out yet, Scuba Steve is a tiny bit younger than me, making him a tiny bit older than my kids. I know its difficult for people who don't know us to understand how we are related to each other.
I am 36 and sometimes mistaken for my DS(19) girlfriend.
Scuba Steve(29) is sometimes mistaken for Commando Nikki's (17) boyfriend.
It's creepy for everyone involved, okay?
It would help if we looked our ages, NO... if we ACTED our ages, but we don't....Especially in Disney.
We were playing in the rain, jumping in every puddle headed for the buses and watching the very few people in the park pulling out their yellow slickers and umbrellas.
We live in the state of Maine, where if you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it will change.
Bring it on.
I still had on soggy man-panties. (They never dry out, do they?) I didn't care.
A sad couple with two small sad kids in tow were headed for the same bus as us. We stepped back to let them on first, because they didn't have on their happy faces. With Scuba Steve, arms spread wide saying
"Welcome aboard Dis....OUCH!"
Commando Nikki started the pinching fight, I saw it THAT time.
Beetlebum HAD to get involved in that while Em was still happily singing "Wobin's got a boyfriend.."
They started to step on each others feet, there was a lot of pushing, pinching and singing. The sad couple with their sad little kids became the giggling couple with the scared little kids and were STARING at us.
THEY like an audience.
We got on the bus behind them and the driver was grateful to have us.
"Thank God, people, I'm sick of sitting here." I heard him say when we got on.
I wondered just how long he was going to be grateful to our holy creator, the crew was totally out of MY control and in full swing.
I really tried to control them, it was Scuba Steve that provoked them. They are all, except Em, bigger & stronger than me.
There’s only so much I can do. All Stars, rental car, promise.
So the bus began to pull away from the MGM parking lot and turned off the interior lights. I couldn't see what was going on because they were all behind me, but I could hear it.
"Ouch"
"Quit it" "Ouch"
"You started it"
"Ouch, your a tree-hugger."
I was looking at the staring lady, mouthing "I'm sorry." to her. Her kids were quietly sitting, watching my crew. I think she slipped them some Xanax.
My crew went from pinching to sunburn slapping. I went from mouthing the words "I'm sorry" to saying them out loud.
They decided to push each other out of the seats with their feet and onto the floor. Scuba Steve landed with a loud "GACK!" sound.
Now, the bus driver was staring. I HAD to do something before we got kicked off the bus. They were ROCKING the bus with thier foolishness.
I stood up in the isle next to the staring people and said loudly to my crew "This is what NORMAL people look like, observe the quiet and well behaved children. Also take notes of the fact that THEY are guaranteed to have a ride ALL THE WAY to POR, unlike you freaks. If this continues, I will be passing out tampons for you to carry on our walk back and through the lobby of POR. Sit down and SHUT UP!"
To which I reached into the top of my jeans and showed them the top of Scuba Steve’s tighty-whities.
They all looked at me in horror, including the staring people.
I did this for two reasons, Scuba Steve’s fear of feminine hygiene products and our girls are repulsed by the fact that we can share underwear with each other.
I win.
They shut up for the rest of the ride home. Until the bus driver turned ON the interior lights, then they all screamed "Bright lights, bright lights!" and held their hands over their eyes.
We got to POR and traveled another great journey back to our rooms. It wasn't until the last day I think that we ever looked at the map they gave us at the front desk.
They give that to you for a reason. Look at it.
Brother was sitting outside on the stoop not too close to the edge. We sent the girls off to bed.
"Sorry I missed you guys today." He said
I was sorry too. I wanted to play with Brother.
Scruffy came out of their room and said "Your'n bake!"
Dh leaned over to me and whispered, "Did he just say urine?"
I think he did or he was excited to see us. I couldn't tell.
Scruffy headed off to find himself a soda machine. Brother asked what our plans were for the next day. I told him we were going back to MGM because we didn't do that the first day like I had scheduled because the eating fight and Uncle Dave. I also told him about RnR.
He wanted on that ride and TOT. He thought they'd be able to join us. MGM must have a TON of gift shops right?
Now I was a mix of emotions, I desperately wanted Brother to come play with us, but I don't think I could handle anymore of his wife’s negativity. I told him I'd love him to come along under one condition.
Don't leave me alone with your wife.
I told Scuba Steve, "If you leave me alone with her, I WILL divorce you and run off with my new boyfriend."
My darling husband who I love more than anything in the world, put his arm on my sunburn, looked into my eyes and said "I would never do that to you, I love you to much."
Awwww..
At the same time Brothers wife came out of their room, moaning and groaning and sat down right next to Scuba Steve.
She started complaining.
Scuba Steve jumped up and told Brother "You HAVE to see this pin Em bought for Chris."
And zoooom, POW. He was gone. Love ya, mean it.
She continued to complain about something I missed because I was planning how I was going to kill Scuba Steve.
"I have to go help him, he is easily distracted." I told Brother and his wife.
Just as I got up to save myself and hide in our room until she went back into theirs, Scuba Steve came out with a bag of M&M's.
See easily distracted. Where's the pin? Blew my big escape...Love ya, mean it.
So we sat there listening to her hating Disney and blessing our plans for tomorrow, thinking our ears were going to burn off the sides of our heads from this unholy talk and thankfully she went back in their room for our big day at MGM.
Ugg! Poor Disney-loving Brother. Stuck with that.
Brother was looking forward to playing in MGM with us. I was excited about it too. We were like two kids before Christmas.
Scruffy came back with his soda, grinning "Your'n all havetin a gid nite." And went into their room.
"Is Scruffy's looking for the out-house? Why does he keep talking about urine?" Dh asked Brother.
We went in to shower and put on DRY clothes. I was so excited about the next day...
Then Brother's wife burst our bubble.