10/4/2003 ~ Lines in Epcot

Mickey called at 7:30 and woke up Commando Nikki. When the phone rang she bolted straight up out of bed and started looking for her whistle. When I think about it now, maybe she wasn't really sleeping, because she really was out of that bed fast, looking under the bed and in the suitcases. 

"Touch the whistle, and I'll kill you." I told her. She scowled at me, put her hands on her hips, stomped her size 6 foot and said "Thats not a very Disney attitude, Mother." 

In the next breath, she was smiling and saying "Coffee?" and *swoooosh* out the door she went. Yeah, Sybil, I'd love a cup. She was back so fast, I think she had hidden a cup outside the door.

Our crew got up and took turns in the shower. Commando Nikki went first, had a three minute military shower. Then stood next to the door, yelling for the next person to "get on deck" and the one in the shower to "Get out or I will throw a rattlesnake in there". Its a good thing I love this kid. Lets just leave it at that, shall we?

We were ready to go, but Brother's crew is a bit slower than us. They wanted breakfast, so we went down to the food court and got something to eat. It doesn't take long for my crew to start getting out of hand. I can't keep them in one place for long. 

I went to the gift shop, bought 3 Pal Mickeys (for DD's) and 10 pins for DS. Brother's crew was taking waaaay to long, my crew started acting up, so I told Brother we would be at Epcot, call me when you get there.

We took the bus over to Epcot, where Em sees the monorail. "I want to go on that first!" I am trying to explain to this wacko, that the monorail is not a ride, its a mode of transportation. At the same time I am handing DH the camera bag. He literally takes a big jump backwards, puts his hands in front of his face and yells slowly, "Nooooooo!!!"

What is his problem? "Take the bag" I said. "No" He said.

He is now moving his hands and feet in some type of karate defense moves, trying to block the bag. "No, grasshopper, No!" The kids are in busting with laughter, and I am getting irritated. Then I remembered the tampons. I opened every zipper and showed him it was safe, but he still didn't trust me. 

So I stood up, loud and proud and announced, "If you don't take this bag right now, when we get home I will plant tampons everywhere. In your glove box, pockets, shoes, under the pillows..."

"Give me the bag" He GROWLED at me.

I will never understand a mans fear of feminine hygiene products. Obviously, they are not for him.

We got fast passes for test track and went over to HISTA. I was so relieved to be back to normal size. Took a few photos of the kids together, then we went to test track to have skin-to-skin contact with strangers. 

We strolled right on with our fast passes, while Em sang, "We are cutters! We are cutting everyone!" 

Stood in the small room skin-to-skin, and finally got into our car. This was the first time any of us had ridden this ride. Makes it kind of special. Test track makes you into the "crash test dummy" 

My kids describe it like this:

First there's the 'driving like mom' test (brakes & corners), then there is the 'kidney' test (bumpy roads), followed by the 'how's that sunburn' test (extreme heat) and finishing up with the 'your ninnies are showing' test (extreme cold).

Brother finally showed up at 2:00 pm. He wasn't happy. There was too much tension with that crew, so we split up for a while. Commando Nikki went on Mission space. She loved it and suffered no ill effects. But with this kid, it doesn't matter what she goes on, she has a cast-iron stomach. 

All 3 DD's went on body wars while DH & DS went into Innoventions. I sat on a bench, took a break and people watched. I hadn't really noticed a lot of people, the crowds were pretty low. Sadly, that wouldn't last throughout the vacation. If I had known then how sick of people I was going to get, I would have found something else to do.

DD's found me right where they left me. We were going over to Innoventions to collect the guys when we went past the water fountains and a ton of little kids running around in them. Em  freaked and I told her she could go over there, but to only get "a little wet".

Yeah, a six year old knows what you mean by “a little wet.” How did my kids survive me??

She booked it over there, and the fountain started spaying sideways all over her feet. The looked straight down to watch the water on her feet, and the fountain "blowed up". Head to foot, she was soaked. She was wringing out her shirt for 20 minutes.

Her father was pleased with me.

I made a quick restroom stop, and there was a lady standing there holding a little girl. I stood behind her, and she moved to the left. So, I moved to the left. She moved right, I moved right. Finally she turns to me and says, "Uh, I'm not in line." Have you ever POWER BLUSHED before? Just to make myself look a little more stupid, I say "Oh, I know, I was just practicing."

We met back up with Brother around 4:30 (so, how was Epcot Brother?) and took the bus to Wilderness Lodge to eat at the Whispering Canyon Cafe.

Oh GOD! Was that a good time.
 

10/4/2003 ~ A quiet meal at Whispering Canyon (sure)

The Wilderness Lodge is so pretty. I want to stay there someday. I will have to go alone, I don't think the people staying here would find Commando Nikki's whistle very funny. I looked around and also noticed there wasn't one person walking around in blue duck pajama's.

DH knew I was really looking forward to eating here and that was making him a nervous wreak. While we were waiting for our table, he was pacing around the lobby, looking at his feet, shaking his head, and mumbling something. Brother went over to find out if he was okay. They were doing that secret guy language again. He tells Brother. "She's been dying to eat here." and Brother becomes very nervous. "I'll keep an eye out, you drop a Xanax in her drink."

HEY! Play fair! Maybe the food is super-good, it doesn't mean anything is going to happen.

What's wrong with them anyway?

We had reservations were at 5:00 and were seated very quickly. We were all there, except pigtails and scruffy. I have no idea where they wondered off to. Were they with us at all today? I thought I remembered seeing scruffy over at Epcot. Hey, if anyone sees scruffy, could you let him know we are all home? Thanks bunches! 

We were seated in the middle of the room, (hooray!) and I knew some things about WC because of the DIS board. I'll admit it, I was puffed up with pride. Yeah, its true. I guess it was obvious too, because I told Brother to drop his fork to see what would happen. DH jumped up, in slow motion, slowly saying "nnnooooo!!!" put his hand on the table and knocked his own fork onto the floor. Still moving in slow motion, now with both hands over his head slowly waving, looks down on the floor with a horrified look and he starts saying slooowwlyWHYY?.

The great part? Our server, Debbie, was standing right behind him, arms crossed, watching him. Oh yes, he was unaware. She tapped him on the sholder and he sat in his chair really quick. He is looking up at her saying "Look, I dropped my fork, but, I am really really sorry about it. Could you just forget about it?" 

"Oh, surrre" Debbie said as she was spinning around to leave our table, with a big smile on her face. She takes one step away and DH says "Hey, could I have something for free?" Never hurts to ask, right? 

She stopped cold , turned around and threw a gigantic handful of straws on him and said "Enjoy".

I was in tears. I wonder if she expected all our kids, DH, Waldo, & Brother to start throwing and blowing the straws at each other. They all jumped on DH before the last straw was our of her hand. Our table was out of control in 5 seconds. A new personal record for us. I left the table for a minute, not only because I was beginning to fear for my own personal safety, but I wanted to wash my hands. (There's never a line for that.) I came back and everyone had thankfully settled down. DH had a three foot fork in his hand. A gift from Debbie.

DS & DH had the all you care to eat, the girls & I each split meals. We were very happy, eating, chatting, spinning napkins in the air occasionally, and someone comes along and puts a "napkin beanie" on DS's head. DS froze with his fork mid-air. He looks up at me and says "Oh god, mom, what is on my head?"

I'm giggling and say "A napkin." He had such a look of relief on his face, I had to ask, what did you think it was? "A diaper!" Why would you think that? "Because you left the table."

At this point, I am beginning to believe, my family doesn't have a very nice opinion of me.

Debbie continues to be a fabulous server, DH continues to give her a hard time, asking for free stuff. We were just about finished up, and Debbie is walking across the restaurant, with a microphone saying, "Can I please have you attention over here." DH is giving me bad looks, (he did this on his own) and she comes up behind him. She tells the restaurant about how he wants something for free, and she wanted to share it with everyone.

A free pony ride.

He rode around the restaurant on a wooden stick, singing. He was such a good sport. If you had seen the look on his daughters face, you'd also know, he was her first prince on a white horse.

I saw it in her eyes.

 

10/4/2003 ~ Poor little kid

The best piece of advice I can offer to anyone who is traveling with a large group, or just my crew, is to find a few minutes of alone time. When you have so many personalities exploding in your face 24/7 you need to find your own "three feet of personal space".

We left WC (bye Debbie!) and the crew was still in high swing. I was getting somewhat wiped out. (I still had bronchitis) We were heading over to Disney Quest for the rest of the evening. (This is still day 3, 10/4, for those of you who have lost track.) I asked Brother if he was going over with us. "I might be able to for a little while."

What did he just say??

Rather than getting into it with him, I "let it go". (See Uncle Dave, I can do it!) We were all waiting for the bus to go to Downtown Disney, and I just wanted a break, plus I could feel myself getting upset about Brother, so I came up with this brilliant plan. As the bus was headed for us and I grabbed DH. I asked him if he could take the kids and go on without me. I wanted to wait for the next bus. Was he concerned? Did he worry? Nope. He just said "Okie-dokie, see you there." I do so love this man.
Off they went, and out came my cell.

"Mom! Brother won't play with me!" Thats right, I did it, I called MOM. We talked about this whole mess Brother was in, and how we hadn't had any time to spend together and so on. I talked to her from the time they left until my bus arrived at DTD. According to my cell, it was about 1/2 hour. I felt better.
When you go to DTD there are two places they stop. The first is in the marketplace, and the second is at Westside. I knew I needed to get off at the second stop. I still felt like I walk 47 miles from the bus stop to Disney Quest.

Everything about DQ is fun. Even the elevator ride up. When you get off, you are on the third floor. The most important thing you need to know is that the Cheesecake factory is on the fourth floor. Tell them delswife sent you. I knew just where to start looking for my crew. Build your own rollercoaster. I knew if nobody else was there, Commando Nikki would be.

Yup, there she was.
She was with Beatlebum who was looking a bit, oh how to describe this, horrified is a good word, and one that I can spell. I was on the other side of the bars with the camera bag on my shoulder, leaning over talking to them. They told me the general direction of the rest of the crew and I turned to head off, and bump knocked this poor little kid (about 5 yrs old) onto his bum with the camera bag.

Oh now, I have really done it.

Poor little kid is sitting on the floor staring up at me, with great big eyes, waiting for the next assault from me and my camera bag. I didn't know what to do, I am apologizing like a mad woman, but I am afraid to touch him to pick him up. I am franticly looking around for a parent of some kind, still apologizing to poor little kid.

In today’s society, is it acceptable to touch a child that doesn't share your DNA, simply to
return them to their original upright standing position?

A mother finally shows up, and hey, I have no right to judge her in anyway. I have been in DQ for about 15 minutes now, and can only locate 2/5ths of my crew. Its a busy place and it would be very easy to lose a poor little kid. At least all she did was lose him, I may have just scarred him for life! Apparently, this child has the gift of invisibility, because I never saw him. 

"Is he bothering you?" She asks. Lady, are you kidding me? "No, not at all, actually, I conducted a gravity test with him and found him to be bottom heavy." She looked at me oddly. I continued " No what happened was I forgot I wasn't sixteen yrs old anymore and no longer a size 2. My backside requires more room than it once did..." She picked up her child and left.

I turned around and walked straight into BROTHER!!

"Gravity test?" He chuckles.

Well, yeah. Sounded better than, "Hey lady I knocked your poor little kid off his feet with my big butt."

Brother was there with just Waldo. It was great. We found the rest of the crew and wandered downstairs. There is a new game down there called Pirates of the Caribbean. It had a huge line, but we decided we had to find out what it was. I'm glad we did. It is a room that looks like the bow of a ship that you and 4 of your closest friends go in, wearing special goggles and shoot cannons at the pirates to steal their gold. The bow rocks like a boat. It was fun.

We all got into Brothers van, and somehow, I ended up in the back. I still don't know how this happened, and just before I could start freaking out, DH leaned forward to ask Waldo, to please open his door. Very calmly, no emergency sound in his voice at all. Waldo turns around and says "Sure, why?" Dh says "Because you closed the door on my hand and its stuck." I guess seeing your DH's dented fingers will distract you from freaking out. Could dented fingers replace Xanax? I don't think so.

On the way back to POR we started chanting "We want Pepsi products! I want a Mountain Dew!" Brother drove to the gas station, and guess what. No Pepsi products. I asked the guy if Florida sold Pepsi products anywhere and he said, "Yeah, off Disney property." We didn't know Disney had a gas station! Maybe that’s where the monorail gases up?

Back to POR to put my big bum to bed.
 

10/5/2003 ~ Scruffy speaks! (you won't believe what he said)

The next morning I woke up to Commando Nikki standing over me with a cup of coffee in her hand, grinning ear-to-ear. "Thought this would be a time saver." She pushes the cup in my hand and runs off to the shower. Love ya, mean it.

I went outside our rooms to have a cigarette, because I don't smoke in tiny rooms with kids. Brother & DH come out and join me. Brother is sitting on the edge of the stoop, where there is no railing. Just a 2 foot drop to the ground. There are some very lovely bushes right around that area, like I said, POR is very nice. We are chatting, and I am thinking, "Wow, this is so great" just as the sprinkler turns on.
Nope, nobody got wet. But I think Brother peed a little.

Did you ever notice that when the sprinkler turns on, it sounds a lot like a rattlesnake? Brother did.
His arm jumped and rolled the rest of his body across the stoop, almost into DH's lap. At the same time, I jump up, in a high-pitched scream, "Grasshopper?"

This ladies and gentlemen was the start of another very long day.

There were alot of things to do today. Including Brother & SIL's re-hitching ceremony at the
Garden Grill.Who are we kidding here? They haven't gotten along for a minute so far and we are 4 days into this vacation. I mention it to Brother, and the look on his face scared me just a little bit.

There was no way he was going to do it. Nope, not going to happen.

I took him into our room and showed him the mickey and minnie bride/groom ears I bought them. He wasn't interested.

I told him they were holding my credit card for this. He would pay me back.
I told him DH & I got married here, and look at us. That made him smirk.
I told him Chuck & Dave would be there. That sold him.

I gave him the mouse bride/groom ears to take over and surprise SIL. 

I had the warm fuzzies thinking about how I would feel if DH did that.

I wish three things, the first that he hadn't gone through the door connecting our rooms, the second that he had closed the door and the third that I could have gotten out of my room faster. 

It was awful. Poor Brother.

I did manage to get out to DH. I don't think he had heard any of it and I was real uncomfortable. There were to many "crew" members around to tell him what happened. I was mad that she just treated Brother like that. She screamed at him, because she didn't want the mouse ears to mess up her hair. There was name calling, Brother didn't deserve any of that.

Between crew members, I am trying to tell DH the story, Brother comes out of his room. On top of his head are the Mickey groom ears. He is obviously not happy.

Oh, thars' gonna be some trouble!

He leans over and growls in my ear, "I don't care what you have to do, set fire to yourself if you have to, but get me out of this."
You bet.
Got a lighter right here.

Scruffy emerges from Brother's room. That’s where you've been?? 

DH elbow's me, he thinks he’s found scruffy.
Now, I've never been clear on how we all live in the same country, and have such different accents. Brother, on occasion, has had to translate some things SIL or Waldo have said. Brother had to translate EVERYTHING scruffy said.

Scruffy began talking to DH & myself. It sounded like this:

"dang-durng, tharsa bout ta be some strassin upin har. Looken lika sandy coud putta fixen on it, whadda ya do?"

DH & I are both making this strange squinty-eyed, mouth kinda hanging open look. You know where you tip your head sideways without moving your eyes because the angle helps in the translation.

Dh's smiles and says "Ah, yeah."
"Swat! Haren have addit." Scruffy says.
Dh's smiles and says "Ah, yep."

Later, I asked DH why he just didn't say he didn't understand him. He felt he had gotten to far into the conversation and couldn't back out.

Scruffy, who is grining, reaches into his pocket, opens a little box and presents DH with a little pill.
Dh looks at Brother, who can't help laughing because he knows DH didn't understand any of thier little conversation, and asks him, "What’s that?"

Brother says "Xanax." laughing.

Dh says "I don't want that. What do I do?" Oh has scruffy gone deaf, honey?
Brother says, "Just say no, man."
Dh looks at me and says, "Did I just commit a crime?" No, honey, not yet. 

DH looks back at scruffy and firmly says "No thank you." 

Scruffy replies "hen yen thars no trable min." 

Dh jumps back and says "I don't know what you just said but I've got to go." and that was the last I saw of him until breakfast. 

Apparently scruffy was under the impression that the Xanax in our room was for DH and he couldn't go back into our room to get it because of the crazy lady in their room and the doors were still open between them. I guess to scruffy, Dh looked liked he needed them. That was scruffy's side of the conversation.

Gee, take one little Xanax at the airport, and it will haunt you forever. Who are these people Brother?
 

10/5/2003 ~ Re-hitching

Princess Jasmine had left Em a package in our room. When it was safe to go in, she ran in and changed into her new costume. Luckily she had no need for Xanax.

I found DH at the food court with the rest of our crew. I heard him telling DS that no matter what scruffy says to you, just say no. DS is confused, but agrees. This was going to be DS's day, whatever he wanted to do, because he had to leave us tonight. He wanted to go to Norway in Epcot.

Why?

Have you ever seen the girls in Norway? That’s why.

Commando Nikki is thrilled we will be going into the world showcase because there are hot guys in kilts with electric guitars in Canada. 

"Oh yes, Off-kilter" I say.

 "They take the kilts off?" She squeals clapping her hands. 

We could only wish.

It is at this point Brother appears with his wife in their bride/groom ears. Brother is still scowling at me and I am hiding behind DH. Stupid me thought it would be nice for them to have a re-hitching ceremony because they have only been married 5 months. Anyone want to bet me if they make it to a year?

The crew rides over to Epcot with DS because he is leaving from there and needs his car. DH, myself, Brother and his wife all take the bus. Scruffy is MIA.

We arrive at Epcot and the kids are standing there at the gate, not happy with mother. I have enough on my mind, thinking Brother is going to take me out at any second, how am I suppose to remember they had no tickets to get in. We are only a few minutes behind them.

As we go threw the turnstiles, people are congratulating Brother and his wife.

Please stop it. Every time someone congratulated Brother, he jabbed me in the ribs. I had bruises for days. He takes me aside, distracting his wife with yet another pin cart and says "Do something." 

I go for my lighter, thinking this is the time for me to set myself on fire, but realized at the same time my crew is in Innoventions. "Hey! Consider yourself ditched."

I was outta there.

I met the crew and explained to them the entire mess, and there would be no re-hitching at the garden grill. They were not happy because they liked the ice cream social and wanted to say hi to Chuck & Dave. 

"That’s Chuck & Dale" Em states which just gets them rolling with laughter and makes her mad. The princess is not amused, but has no weapon readily available.

 "Oh, we are going to the ice cream social, make it happen mom." Arrrgh!

Sooo, I call Brother on the cell and say "Hey, guess what, your phone doesn't work and I can't find you."

"That works, because I sat down on a bench took off my groom hat and someone stole it." Translation: I went to the men’s room and jammed that sucker into the bottom of the trash.

We never made it to Norway or Canada, (poor hormonal teenagers). We were playing on test track. The sunburn test was becoming a little less funny. When our car would go through, our crew would say "ow,ow,ow,ow".

We finally got to the ice cream social, but had to wait. DH, DS(19) and Waldo(18) went out to have a cigarette.

Uh oh, Waldo's with us.

Waldo, DS, and DH had a very interesting talk. Come to find out, he was planning on ditching Brother and his wife and just blended in with our crew. WE were the group to be with. He was no fool. When they came back in Waldo took my cell phone and without turning it on started yelling into in "MOM, DAD!" Nope, they couldn't hear him either. He was so pleased with himself.

When it was our turn, the lady at the desk asked if we were doing the re-hitching ceremony. Before I can say no, Dh pipes up and says yes. He still wanted to marry me again.

All together now, awwwwwww.

Everyone except Beatlebum and myself went to the restroom. We had already taken care of washing our hands and were sitting in the booth, talking. As we are talking, Mickey plops himself down next to us. We squeal with delight, and Mickey plays with us for a few minutes. It was the coolest mother-daughter moment in the history of mankind.

Beatlebum realizes the restaurant to moving.

I think she was hoping the rest of the crew wouldn't be able to find us because we weren't in the same place when they left. She looked a bit disappointed when they all showed up.

I think Commando Nikki was getting on her last nerve. She was on mine.

So, we are served these huge ice cream masterpieces. It is worth $6.99, easily. I have fudge dripping from my chin when our server, Bobby comes over and tells us its time.

Bobby also says he's about to embarrass us in from of a room of people.

Bobby hasn't read these trip reports. Bobby is NOT in the "know".

We stand up and take our places, facing each other holding hands, Bobby begins screaming at the top of his lungs to everyone in the restaurant. I am now deaf in that ear, as is DH. He asked me if I take DH again and you'd think where I only had one line, I'd get it right. 

I said yes, I was suppose to say "I do". Ah well, thanks for pointing that out Bobby.

He asked DH if he took me again. Dh looks at the kids, and is squeezing my fingers together. He puts one hand on his chin and tips his head like he is thinking about it. He finally said yes, in which he was immediately corrected by Bobby, "Its 'I do'" and we have to kiss to the count of 100 (by tens). The kids are making all kinds of gagging noises, because they are brats. 

We are given a lovely paper saying we are re-hitched. I like the idea of getting married every time we go to Disney together. At least this time, I wasn't so nervous.

We were having yet another great Disney day, and had another party to attend. DS decides he can stay for a little while, Hooray! 

I call Brother and told him it was safe now and we are getting ready to head to the MNSSHP. He said they aren't going. I had some smart comment about when he had time, maybe he could come to Maine and pay us a visit. He saw the humor in it.

We start to head out of the Epcot and EM nearly has a nervous breakdown, because we are finally headed for the monorail.
 

10/5/2003 ~ Em's monorail

As you may recall, the monorail is Em's very favorite ride. While we are strolling up the ramp, Commando Nikki blasts off in front of us. See ya. 

Waldo & DS each have one of Em's arms and are beating on her head and butt with their bags. (It had T-shirts in them, I wouldn't actually allow them to injure the child.) She is trying to drag them up the ramp and is getting really mad. She is screaming MONORAIL!! when Commando Nikki comes back for the rest of us.

"We have to wait for the next one. We can sit in the front!" This kid has been peeking at the Dis boards, hasn't she?

We have a seat and Em is on fire! She didn't get that the monorail was driven by someone, and this was going to be a special treat. Nope, she didn't want to hear any of that.

God love the little children, but have you ever seen that thing they do when they are not getting their own way? Even if you don't have children, you have seen it. We all have. Its that thing they do, like their head suddenly weighs 50 lbs more than it did a second ago, their arms have no use, and their legs become Jello. She had her eyes rolled up in the back of her head and her tongue out to the side of her mouth. Very pretty.

The first monorail comes and Em springs back to life. She grabs DS by the shirt and is trying to drag him on it with her. "Lets go, lets go, lets go!!!" She of course, doesn't move him an inch.
Em & DS. You'll never meet two kids that are closer. Wherever DS is, Em is right behind him. While DS was with us, we never really had to keep an eye on her. We knew she was with him. She stands outside the men’s room door screaming his name. You just know she wants to bolt in there and get him. He just loves her to pieces.

So, he doesn't move. Em has a total look of betrayal on her face. She can't believe her partner in crime just let her down. The monorail starts to pull way, and Em, that sweet angel, swings her foot full back to kick him.....there. He grabs her foot and hangs her upside down by it. When he puts her back on her feet, her costume had slipped a bit down in the back exposing her tushy, just a little bit.

"Auditioning to be a Maine plumber?" DH asked.

I was so unbelievably happy when the next monorail pulled up. I almost hugged the CM standing there. Commando Nikki surprised me when she said, "I'm riding with you guys so DS, EM, Beatlebum and Waldo can sit in the front." 

I was proud of her for doing that for the other kids. (She got her chance) 

Wow, what a sweetheart, so thoughtful, arranging for the other kids to ride in the front.......

Yeah, we got into the monorail and Commando Nikki fell asleep. Anyone seen that whistle?
 

10/5/2003 ~A painful goodbye

Em emerged from the cabin of the monorail, simply beaming, holding in her hand her O- fficial monorail license. She now owned a piece of the monorail. Great, you know what she's going to be like to live with now??

We went through our usual routine of going through the turnstiles, handing me all the tickets (DH blew it) and getting our goody bags.

We were not as bouncy and happy.

We were getting sadder with each step.

We knew soon, DS was going to leave.

We played around on Buzz a few more times, and I bought the ride photo because DS was in it. We went down Space Mountain and I bought the ride photo because DS was in it. You get the idea.

DH noticed I was buying all the ride photos and started to, for one split second, question this. One look at me and he knew, if DS was in the photo, I was buying it. I think he was afraid that an innocent passerby might stop and catch DS in their own photos and I would steal their camera.

It was getting late. We went to Paco Bills to grab a bite. I wasn't that hungry. You could feel the tension building in our crew, all except Em. She was still unaware that her super-hero was leaving. It was better that way so she could have some fun with him. I was glad later that we made that decision.

The fireworks started and we all quietly watched. It was about 10:00 pm and DS really had to get on the road. It tore my heart out to watch the kids all walking through Adventureland to the front gate, all holding hands. When they were walking down Main St. hand-in-hand I tried to take some photos, but I was crying too hard and they are all blurry.

Did you know the CM's are really special people? Do you realize how special they are? I found out later when Waldo told me. At the time, I didn't realize there were any other people there at all.

We got to the front gate near the turnstiles. The electric light parade was going by. DS got on his knees and told Em he had to go.

"Why?" She was pulling on his shirt, big fat tears running down her cheeks. 

"Because I have to go to work." He was fighting tears.

"Why?" she asked again.

"Because America needs me."

"I need you." She was bawling at this point and she grabbed him around the neck. They were both sobbing. We had to pull her off him. She had weaved her fingers together and wouldn't let go. It broke my heart. We were all crying.

He gave his sisters hugs and kisses, DH a handshake then a big hug, Waldo a handshake... Then it was my turn.

I thought my heart would rip out though my chest. 

We hugged a long time, and I told him things in his ear. I am so proud of my son, for where he came from and where he is now. He has done good. He is my only son, my firstborn, my baby. I will love him the rest of my life.

He started walking towards the monorail, and I was watching DH's face. He had tears in his eyes as he followed Ds walk up the monorail ramp. I was afraid to look, afraid if I did look, would simply curl up and die.

I looked.

They saw a man, with a military hair-cut in his clean white shirt, with all his muscles and his wdw shopping bag walking into his future and working on F-16 fighter jets.

I saw my baby with his sun bleached blond hair, chubby dimpled cheeks and chocolate on his chin.

I love you Chris. Bye.

I have to stop here, I promise this is the last time I will make you cry.
 

10/5/2003 ~ Day 4 Quiet end of the evening

**Shake it off, shake it off.**

We were a mess once DS left. Waldo tells me that a few people stopped to watch and we had about 4 - 5 Cm's kind of "guarding" us. They would politely usher them along, allowing us some privacy. There was one CM that was trying to give Em stickers, but she just kept crying quietly, big tears rolling off her cheeks.

We went back into the MNSSHP, but we were still pretty out of it. DH sat on the sidewalk with the girls waiting for the parade, while I went and called my mom.

I was P-O'd at Brother for not being there.

The headless horsemen came riding down Main street. Em wouldn't move off DH's lap. She was laying across it. Poor little thing was an emotional mess.

We thought about leaving, but the girls insisted they wanted to stay. They got their faces painted, and we rode a few rides. Em was beginning to feel better. She found an American flag pin with all the characters on it she wanted to buy for him.

We left MK just strolling along towards the buses, wandering near the boat dock, just as casual as can be and I noticed something very strange.

Two kids I had never seen before were following DH. They were about 8-9 yrs. old. I thought we had had this talk, we weren't having kids together. I asked DH where he got the extra kids, and when he stopped and turned around, the little girl nearly fainted. Her daddy's backside and Dh's backside looked a lot alike. We kept an eye on them and relocated thier panic-stricken parents.

Nice bus ride back, made some friends with strangers, had some skin-to-skin contact and arrived at POR. Waldo bid us ado and disappeared into his room. The girls went straight to bed, DH & I stepped outside for a final cigarette and to talk about the days events.

Brother was sitting on the stoop, but not too close to the edge.

We got a chance to talk about what was going on with him, why they weren't having a good time. He hadn't gone on any rides except for our first day, seen no shows, fireworks or parades. He was spending his vacation standing outside gift shops waiting. All she wanted to do is shop. I felt so bad for him.

We covered the next days schedule. We were going to Discovery Cove to swim with the dolphins. I was sad DS was going to miss it, and I will take him there someday, but I was excited for Beatlebum. This was right up her alley. This kid was all about the fish. We agreed that we had to be there very early, 8:30 am, so we had to head to bed now.

Commando Nikki would be up first, with her stinking whistle. She's probably laying in there awake now, because she DID arrange a power-nap for herself on the monorail.

Brat.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Lets go, already!

Our morning started off like the others, with a couple of exceptions. Commando Nikki was standing over me with a cup of coffee, but Beatlebum was awake too. This was her big day. She was going to touch a dolphin, a dream of hers.

Commando Nikki wasn't allowing showers this morning, no way. They have showers at Discovery Cove and we will be in the water all day. She was throwing herself in front of the bathroom door every time someone made a move near it. She thought she was funny, imitating DH's slow motion karate moves.

I stepped outside & she followed me barking her usual "Let's move, let's go!" pulling on the back of my blue duck pajama's. Yeah, keep bugging me kid, and you'll find out how slow I can really move. While she is harassing me, DH snuck into the shower.

Commando Nikki freaked!

She was all arms and legs running back into our room, pounding on the door, screaming. I could tell by the way she was darting her head around, she was looking for that stupid whistle. I still wonder why POR didn't kick us out. Nobody else behaves like us.

I got dressed and for some dumb reason I had my camera (Nikon 5700) hanging from one shoulder and the video camera (Canon ZR65, for the camera buffs) on the other. I went outside to take a look at the pictures I had taken. Brother was already sitting out there when I sat down.

**CRASH**

Both cameras hit the floor when I did. Perfect.

"Gravity test?" Brother asked.

Jerk.

"You DO know you can also shorten the straps on those things?" Brother said sarcastically. Shut up.

"So, the warrantee on those must have just run out?"

I mean it, shut up.

"Did you hear how crisp the sound of that crash was?"

I kicked him. I pointed over the edge of the stoop and screamed "Snake!!" 

He screamed back "Grasshopper!"

Dh comes out of our room begging me to do something about Commando Nikki, she was trying to put his sandals on for him.

Beatlebum & Em were wrestling with Waldo, trying to get him to hurry up.

Where's scruffy with the Xanax?

I unclench my hands long enough to find out the damages to my cameras. Just so you know, they can handle a 3 foot drop. I was shocked the lenses didn't crack, because you know that’s how they both landed. Wheeew!

I packed them back up and grabbed the disposable water-proof one. They had been through enough today.

Hey, wouldn't this be a good time for Brother & his wife to have a problem? Scuffy and pigtails did too. Oh, good!

The kids had all taken off for Brother's van. Dh & I were waiting, not caring anymore if they all killed each other, but we weren't the ones with the tickets, or the van. Commando Nikki came back, in tears pleading with me to do something.

I mooned her.

I did something.

What more could I do?

Scruffy was moving into Brothers room. NOW. Pigtails was heading home, NOW. Scruffy and Brother's wife had a fight. DH was looking at me with his eyes wide open, jerking his head to the side, trying to tell, me "Lets go."

But Lassie, I don't have the tickets or a van. Timmy can rot in the well.

I went to the van to check on the kids, and to try to calm down Commando Nikki, who was very close to having a heart attack. I headed back to the room to talk to Brother and met up with pigtails in the hall.

"Hey, Hi, we about ready to go?" I smiled at her. Pigtails wasn't smiling, she almost plowed over me. 

Note to self: Stay away from pigtails.

Brother was just standing outside his room while his crew was inside battling to the death. It was getting late! We were suppose to get there for 8:30 and it was almost 9:30. Scruffy was yelling that he wasn't going until...

Are you ready for this?

You sure?

He wasn't going until he washed his hair. At least that’s what Brother translated for us. Brother was rolling his eyes, just chuckling on how ridiculous his crew and vacation had become.

Finally, it happened, Commando Nikki snapped. We should have seen it coming. Brother couldn't move fast enough. She jumped on his back and started pulling him back by the forehead.

"I said let's go, I mean let's go!" Thankfully Brother took pity on the kid and didn't kill her.

Brother & I thought maybe if we were all sitting in the van, they would come along. They did, 1/2 hour later. I felt so bad for the kids, but I knew once we ever did get there, it would be all good times.

Sure.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Scuba Steve

We are finally underway, I'm driving, brother's wife is sitting in the passenger seat. Everyone else is in the back enjoying the skin-to-skin contact. It was almost 10:30. The kids were disappointed, but Brother & DH were trying to cheer them up.

Brother's wife was mumbling something about killing herself. Was she looking for suggestions? I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but at that moment, that’s how I felt. Sorry. She knows Brother's first wife died that way, don't play those head-games.

By the time we pulled into Discovery Cove, I was ready to kill someone. 

This was the first time since Star taxi/Limo,(hissss bad) that I was this upset. We got out of the van, locked it and headed to the front door.

In the brochure for DC it says, "Leave your worries behind" I drove up with a vanload. I am so glad that when we walked into the lobby, the kids were so over-whelmed they had forgotten about everything else.

They were all immediately out of control, and all was right with the world again. Mother was pleased.

You have to have your picture taken in the lobby, then they make I.D. tags that you wear around your neck. Everyone except Brother's wife (and maybe scruffy, it was hard to tell) made a silly face. 

Guess how long Em had hers?

A very happy lady came over and explained she was our tour guide. From the lobby she started walking backwards to different locations that were important to know. We stopped for the complementary family photo, and she continued to walk backwards through the park, showing us the gift shop (sorry Brother), cabanas, food court, smoking area, salt and fresh water tanks. She never looked behind her, not once. It was cool. When she was finished her tour, I had to ask her how long the backwards walking training took. Not long when you walk into enough trees, apparently.

We went to the area to choose either a wet suit or vest. I told DH that the water would be cold, so maybe he would be happier in a suit. I got all our girls and myself suits and we went into the changing rooms to get ready.

Em's didn't exactly fit very well. She got it on, but couldn't bring her arms forward (they were straight out, flung back) and Commando Nikki was trying to zip it up the back. I walked out of my dressing room and saw her nearly strangling the poor child. I told her the suits come in different sizes, just get her a bigger one. One tiny little problem, we now have a child stuck in a suit. The 'going on' part was much easier than the 'coming off' part. Took all three of us to get her out. Commando Nikki holding Em, Beatlebum & I yanking on the suit.

*POP* she was free, and Commando Nikki ran out to get her another one.

Inside the dressing rooms they have full length mirrors. Why do they do that? I walked by it and
**erkkk, hit the brakes!**

A suit has interesting bulges and wrinkles. They are all in the wrong places. 

I don't think so.

I take the suit back off, and decided to get a vest instead. It was a wiser choice. I'm not afraid of a little cold water, I'm afraid of bulges and wrinkles in the wrong places.

So we are all ready to go, my girls and I, walking out of the dressing room singing our songs and there he was....

Scuba Steve.

I can't speak. I am immediately transformed from a wife and mother, into a giggling school girl. Was I really married to him?? Whoa!

"I feel like an idiot." DH says

I giggle.

"I look like an idiot, don't I?"

No you look like a god, but I am a giggling school girl and can't tell you that.

"I'm changing" Oh please don't! You are in the same category as the hot guys in kilts with electric guitars, the sweaty guy wearing a tool belt and the guy in a leather jacket on the back of a motorcycle.

"What’s wrong with you, mom?" Commando Nikki asked.

"Del's a hottie." I tell her.

"Okay, well, that’s just gross!" she says. That’s your opinion, daughter.

DH was happy I found him beautiful and kept the suit on. 

Hooray! 

Brother came along and pronounced him, Scuba Steve. We were having a ball. We went down to the fresh water tanks and had a swim. 

The girls wanted to check out the fish so we went into the salt water tank, burrrr, and that’s where we learned....

Scuba Steve is afraid of fish.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Brother MIA

Scuba Steve wont come in the water past his ankles. Scuba Steve is originally from a small town waaayy up north Maine, that is very landlocked. Scuba Steve will pass on fish touching him, thank you very much. Scuba Steve used to be in the 82nd Airbourne and will be happy to come in if I parachute from a plane first, without Xanax.

Okay, stand on the shore, but Brother's wife is coming up behind you. Screaming.

For Brother.

Brother had made his great escape. Brother's wife can't and wont swim. He & Waldo were gone. 

Brilliant idea because everyone looks the same, face down, yellow suits or vests, snorkeling along. He could have warned the rest of us tho...

I think this is payback for the grasshopper incident.

After about 10 seconds of listening to Brothers wife scream from shore for Brother & Waldo, Scuba Steve decided the fish were a better bet.

He just didn't want anyone to know she was in our group.

Oh, later the entire park will know. This park and the rest of Florida. I'm not sure if we will be allowed back.

Beatlebum was in her glory. You haven't heard much about her because she’s shy and she is usually standingthisclose to me at all times, watching the action. This was her big day. I was so happy for her. She has said for about 3 years now that she wants to be a marine biologist when she grows up. This was the land of paradise for her.

Missing: Brother & Waldo. Last seen by Scuba Steve who is standing behind them in sunglasses.
Dh would only come in up to his waist. The fish were still swimming too close to him, and he wasn't liking that one bit. Brother's wife was still screaming for Brother & Waldo. People were pointing, staring and whispering behind their hands. I saw them, yup.

Dh wanted me to do something, but with the bathing suit and vest on, I couldn't moon him. Why does my family think I possess magic powers and can fix all these stupid problems? You do something, I told him, and he did.

He left.

Love ya, mean it.

So I am stuck with the screaming fool. I went back up to shore to find out what she needed. She needed to eat. That actually sounded like a pretty good idea to me.

Right behind the life guard stand they have a box. It contains life vests and those long, floaty, life-saving, stick things. I am not much of a swimmer, and I felt stupid wearing a life vest, so I grabbed a long, floaty, life-saving, stick thing and ventured out to find my crew, Brother, and Waldo.

Brother's wife needed to eat, and sticking something in her mouth might get her to shut up.

Finding my crew was a piece of cake. Brother & Waldo were trickier, they were hiding out and saw me coming so they swam in another direction to avoid me, directly into Commando Nikki.

Ha-ha. Love ya, mean it.

We gathered together in the middle and I told Brother it was time to eat. He said "No, not going back there, I live here now." Waldo nodding his head in agreement. I told him it was his wife, not mine and it was time to go eat. I had him by the arm and was trying to drag him to shore and he...

took my long, floaty, life-saving, stick thing. I started to sink.

Commando Nikki swam down, grabbed my arm, brought me back to the surface and told Brother "We need her! She has all the money!"

Oh, so the truth comes out! They don't wait for me because they can't go on without me, they wait for me because DH isn't allowed any cash! (I refer you back to the drivers license.) 

Nice family I have here.

I convinced Brother & Waldo to come to shore and eat with us. How? I threatened to call mom. I have a cell phone and am not afraid to use it. Surely mom would be on my side. 

So he, Waldo, Commando Nikki and I swam back to shore to eat and then....

Things got really weird.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Joy to the crew

Discovery Cove gives you lunch for free. For $230. per person admission, I'm not convinced its free, but it is very, very good. In case you have lost track, I have, we are a group of nine. My crew of five, Brother's crew of three and scruffy. It's chow time.

We step into the commissary, and it is a huge buffet table that curves like a horseshoe. Always go left I remind my crew, that is what’s recommended on the Dis. Left is for Disney, Discovery Cove wants you to go right. We started out on the left, them some lady announced that is was empty over on the right, and our crews began to stampede that way. Pushing each other, swinging trays, skin-to-skin contact. 

Didn't see that coming did ya, lady?

"Ever feed these people?" Brother asked me while we stood back at a safe distance, watching them. Not if I can help it, I have Pizza Hut on speed dial.

Brother joined back up with his wife, I joined my crew. Commando Nikki, Beatlebum and Em all had a main course and two desserts.

"The lady said a main course and two sides, and desserts are sides." Beatlebum told me. Fine, whatever, your on vacation, have at it.

We walked out to find a place to sit. Waldo already had a table and was trying to get us to sit down. It was a table for four people, I don't know how he thought nine of us would fit. Brother, his wife, scruffy and waldo all unloaded their trays and sat down. Dh said No way, and found us a table for five. 

Waaaaay over there, around the corner, away from Brother's crew.

Dh felt badly for abandoning Brother, but he had enough of Brother's wife.

We unload our trays, sit down and begin to enjoy our meals, and around the corner comes Brother and his crew.

Carrying their food in their hands. Where are the trays?
Why are YOU people smiling?

The sit at the table right next to us, Waldo tried to drag it closer but DH piped up and told him that it wouldn't be necessary. Brother and his wife were both smiling. It was the first time I had seen that, and it was freaking me out some. I looked at Brother, who is still grinning and he winks at me. 

Hummm, something’s up.

Dh then knocks over Ems drink into her lap. Not wanting to be outdone, Waldo knocks over his drink into Brother's wife’s lap. They really were both accidents, but it was funny that Brother & I each had someone at our table screaming about getting wet.

Uh, didn't you both just get out of the water, and aren't you both wearing wetsuits?

A very nice man came right over to clean up our messes and Brother proudly explained to him that we conducted underwater durability tests and he would be happy to know that the tables both passed.

The man was not amused.

Beatlebum and Commando Nikki decided it would be funny to bet Brother he wouldn't eat a spoonful of Guacamole. (The green stuff, not a squashed up duck). 

Brother looked at the spoon and acted like he was afraid. He told him if did do it, they would have to stand up in front of everybody and sing "I'm a little teapot" (there was a table of cute boys, right over there) and if he didn't do it, he would get up and sing. 

Gee, this would be a good time to have a whistle, wouldn't it?

I tried to warn them, I really did. Do they think I just met Brother?

So they lost and per agreement with Brother, I am displaying for my 55,000 closest Dis friends the photo I took. Can you see that Em is they only one enjoying this? The cute boys are behind the man walking.

How do you like me now? Love ya, mean it.

So, we continue to eat, Brother & his wife continue to smile and I can't take anymore.

"Brother, can I have a word with you behind my hand please?" 

We lean over and I asked Brother what all the smiling was about. 

"She asked me for a divorce" He tells me.

Hooray!
 

10/06/2003 ~ Watch your head

The longest relationship you will have is not with your children, parents, or spouses, its with your siblings. 

They are the only ones that are there from your birth to your death. Brother is one of the greatest people I know, he can make anyone laugh and be his friend. He is also one of the funniest people I have ever met, and my kids call him "Uncle Funny". Brother has lived through a lot of hard times and he is MY super-hero. When our father was alive he took Brother & I went to Disney 14 times back when the MK was the only park there. This was our first trip together since the other parks opened. It was our "homecoming".

His wife was sucking the life out of it.

From the time they met, until this day they knew each other a total of eight months. Yeah, time to get away from each other. They don't even seem to like each other.

Brothers little announcement surprised me for about a minute and a half. He was trying so hard to please her, but nothing did.

We finished up lunch, Brother, DH & I went to the smoking area to have a cigarette. I had a seat, told Dh that the cigarettes were in the locker and gave him the key.

Hand to god, sometimes I think I married Jim Carrey circa Ace Ventura.

DH went to the locker, and a second later he was running back to Brother and I, hands in the air waving over his head shaped like claws, taking gigantic hop-steps. There was some kind of guy language exchange that I totally missed, because Brother grabbed the back of my chair and tipped me backwards **screech!!* dangerously close to the ground. I wrapped my legs around the legs of the chair and was holding on for dear life. It was after all, a six inch drop. I could have suffered a disfiguring bump to the head.

Brother bent over me holding the chair and stuck his finger in my face. 

"You have been previously warned!" He bellowed.

Don’t drop me! What did I do?

"This is your final warning, understand?" He continued.

Okay, I'll never do it again, just don't drop me!

Brother put me back where I belong, Dh was wiggling around with the hee-bee gee-bees. I was trying to recover from my near death experience of a six inch drop to the ground and the risk of a disfiguring bump to the head. What just happened?

There was a tampon in the locker.

For the love of God guys, when you travel with 3 girls over the age of twelve, thats the chance you take, deal with it.

We had some time to kill and Em wanted to swim some more. That kid is part fish. Beatlebum & Commando Nikki wanted to check out the bird aviary, so I told them to head down, I'd be right behind them. Dh & I said our "love ya, mean its" and parted ways. 

When I walked into the aviary Commando Nikki had a bird sitting on her head, trying to make a nest out of her braids. She was chanting "Please don't poop, nice bird, please don't poop." All the birds were very friendly, they kept landing on us, except the toucan. I went over and looked at the Toucan, but I was too chicken to put my hand near it.

Get it? Bird aviary, I was chicken? HA! I crack me up.

Good thing, because some guy DID put his hand near it and it snapped at him. His bill made a loud clap sound, like a knife hitting a cutting board.

Note to self: Avoid pigtails and the Toucan.

Our Dolphin swim time was coming around and we gathered the crew into our cabana. They put you into groups of eight, Waldo went with us and two very nice, but Band-Aid covered people. (From here on out to be known as "the Band-Aids, Mr. & Mrs.) Brother, his wife and scruffy went with 5 other people. We watched a movie about dolphins and what to do or not do. Em  kept falling asleep. Dh kept shaking her. She would sit up, open her eyes real wide for a second and fall back to sleep. She was a pooped little kid.

I think everyone in that room could feel Beatlebums excitement. It was busting out of her face. I have never seen her more alive. This was a moment she waited for her entire life and when I told her we were taking her, she broke down in sobbing tears. When I looked over at her, she was sitting on the edge of her seat leaning forward and I could tell she was trying to memorize and absorb everything the woman said. She was enjoying every second. The expression in her eyes is something I will never forget.

It was a very happy day. 

For Beatlebum at least.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Swimming lessons

Brother had been playing in the water with the girls. His wife stood on the shore, watching him. Brother was having fun, the girls jumping on him trying to drown him. His wife was about to put an end to that.
As we went into the cabanas to watch our film, she decided they could work things out after all. The smiling came to a screeching halt for both parties.

Oh, ah, good. Glad to hear it?

Just to clarify, Waldo & Scruffy are his wife's(48) kids. Brother (35) met Waldo first and they hit it off. Waldo wanted to keep Brother forever, he loved him so much, so he introduced them.
We now believe Waldo simply wanted protection. 

We all wanted protection.

Waldo came with our crew, along with Mr. & Mrs. Bandaids. We had to squat down shoulder-to-shoulder in about 3 feet of freezing, ninnie-hardening water. Dh looked down and spoke to himself, uh, down there.. "Look out boys, here we go."

Now, skin-to-skin contact with your family members is one thing, you know about skin-to- skin contact, when you are too close to someone else’s sweaty, sticky, clammy skin and when you pull apart, it sort of sticks together.

Ugg, do it with someone who has an odd odor and multiple Band-Aids.

Front to back of the line up was Waldo, Commando Nikki, Beetlebum, Em, Dh, me, Mrs. & Mr. Band-Aids. 

Mrs. Band-Aids was squishing up against me hard, apparently having never been informed of the no skin-to-skin contact rules. I asked Dh to please trade places with me.

He did, for a second and a half.

Scuba Steve doesn't like fish or Band-Aids touching him. He squat-swam to the front of the line up to get as far away from Mrs. Band-Aids as he could. Ew-ew-ew.

Love ya, mean it.

We let Mr. & Mrs. Bandaids go first.

She had left a Band-Aid imprint on my shoulder. Thanks, bunches!

Next was DH & myself. It hadn't occurred to me until just that second that we had to swim from 3 feet of ninnie-hardening water into 30 feet of it.

Anyone seen my long, floaty, life-saving, stick thing? Sure could use it about now.

Dh told me to keep one hand on his shoulder and he would make sure I didn't drown. Part
of me believes he didn't want me to drown because he wasn't sure where his licence was, and he isn't allowed any money or tickets.

But again I am transformed into giggling school girl. 

I'm touching Scuba Steve! I'm touching Scuba Steve!

I don't know what got into me, okay? I HAVE seen this guy naked.

So we get about half way out, I'm drinking most of the water on the way, Oh god, just HOW many people and dolphins peed in here today? and the lady waiting for us in the middle notices I am, in fact, drowning. Love ya hon’, mean it. Really, I do. Can't you feel me digging into your flesh? 

She swims to us and said "Can't swim?"

Oh, of course I can swim, I was just very, very thirsty.

I can swim, but this is the most accurate way to test the salt-level content of the tank. 

You're a lifeguard, do I look like I am swimming to you?

If I could swim, why wouldn't I? Wouldn't this be a good time to do such a thing?

Now having to put my life into this ladies hands, literally, I kept my sarcastic remarks to myself. She took my hand and PULLED me out to where we belonged and in doing so I swallowed a gallon and a half of people/dolphin peed in water.

Lesson one on how to swim: Shut your mouth.

We were floating in the middle, okay, THEY were floating, I was hanging on for dear life. "Jenny" our dolphin swam right up next to us. This is where I quickly discovered that the video tape and lesson in the cabana earlier was important need-to-know information. They told us to watch out for that powerful tail. No matter what, stay out of the way of its powerful tail.

Lesson two on how to swim: People who CAN swim aren't sticking their legs STRAIGHT out to the sides.

For some reason, I cannot explain, my legs were sticking straight out to the sides and I got clobbered by Jenny’s tail. I can imagine this is what it is like to be hit by a 50lb. bag of cement. I think Jenny was just as surprised as me.

Lesson three on how to swim: People who CAN swim, don’t want you to come along and try to wrap your legs around them.

The two swimming people had decided that the drowner had to go. That sounded pretty good to me, until I thought about it for a minute. Would Jenny really care if I drown on the way back in? Is it possible that Jenny was mad at me for having my legs sticking straight out to the side?

Talk about being in over your head.

I was instructed to put one hand on Jenny’s dorsal fin and the other on her, wait... If the one her back is a dorsal fin, what’s the one on her side called?

Lesson four on how to swim: If you are going to have to replace your long, floaty, life- saving, stick thing with a wild animal, pay closer attention to the video tape.

So, I held on to Jennys dorsal fin and the mystery fin sticking out of her side.

Now, already, I had forgotten lesson one on how to swim: Shut your mouth. I had another
gallon or so of dolphin/people peed water and...

Me and Jenny were outta there.

One small detail, I still don't know where to put my legs.

The velocity that Jenny was traveling was sucking my legs under her tail. Jenny beat the heck out of me all the way back. See! I knew she was mad at me.

Hey Jenny! Love ya, mean it!

When we arrived back to the safer 3 feet of water, Em dropped a fish in Jenny’s mouth and she zipped right back out to Dh and the life-saving lady.

I missed seeing his ride, I was watching Beatlebum. She never took her eyes off Jenny.

I was about to witness a dream come true for my baby.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Beatlebum’s dolphin

Hind-sight really is 20-20. It hadn't occurred to me that I could have stayed in the 3 feet of water, and let Beatlebum take MY turn. As much as I did enjoy it, even with Jenny beating me up all the way back to shore, it would have met much more to her. Its the only regret I have.

Looks like we will have to take another trip.

Beatlebum didn't want to go next. No, if she went next, then it would be over, and she didn't want that to happen. She wanted to go with Jenny last.

She never took her eyes of Jenny.

If Jenny submerged, Beatlebum would immediately put her ear in the water and listen for Jenny’s "voice" always keeping one eye out for Jenny to surface.

Jenny came over to Beatlebum, brought her head out of the water and "chuckled" at her. Yeah, they connected.

Em and Commando Nikki swam out to the life-saving lady.

Discovery Coves rules are that you must be at least 6 yrs. old to participate in the dolphin swim. Good rule. A much smaller child would have drown.

Em had her swim, came to shore and rewarded Jenny for her hard work.

Commando Nikki had her swim and Jenny hammed it up for the camera.

Finally it was Waldo and Beatlebums turn. Beatlebum is a great swimmer, I never realized she was such as fast swimmer. Once she was given the okay to go out to the life-saving lady, she was gone.

She would get to actually talk to the lady about dolphins! She had to get out there.

Once everyone had their swim, Jenny and her friends preformed a series of breathtaking jumps and flips. It was spectacular. Beatlebum was the first to notice the baby dolphin who had come out to join in the playtime. She never took her eyes off the dolphins, I never took my eyes off her.

I have heard of "perfect" days. This so far was one. We were all so happy, everything was so great. 

Beatlebum was BEAMING. The very nice people of Discovery Cove knew that our crews were in 2 different groups. They didn't have to do what they did next, I see it as a random act of kindness. 

Too bad Brothers wife couldn't see that.

Just as we started to leave the water, Commando Nikki dragging Beatlebum, one of the lifeguards stood on shore yelling for our two crews to come back into the water. They were allowing us some more time with the dolphins, more touching and rubbing, and a chance for more photos. They were going out of their way to make us happy, and of course to sell more photos. 

Beatlebum was ecstatic. She did a happy hop and was smiling so much her eyes glowed. I thought she would float away on her happy cloud.

I think Disney alerted them I was on my way. Yeah, Hi, DC this is Disney, delswife is on her way, and if you take pictures of her kids she will buy them, what’s that? No, doesn't matter if Mr. & Mrs. Band-Aids are in it, she knows how to use Photoshop.

Everyone was all smiles, very surprised that we were going to get to go back in, no charge, have a great time.

Everyone except Brothers wife.

Brothers wife was stomping her way, fist clenched full speed up the shore. She was on fire. 

Heck was about to break loose.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Reading lessons

Beatlebum bolted for that water. She was a little blond streak. The rest of our crews were right behind her, Brother & I still standing on the shore watching his wife, fist clenched, feet stomping headed back to shore.

Oh, good ANOTHER problem.

Brother, myself and the lifeguard were calling her name, telling her to come back, the dolphins were waiting.

She never turned around. She continued to stomp up to the pathway. 

Poor Brother.

Brother let out a big sigh, and we walked back to the water to play with the dolphins a little longer. Discovery Cove really came through on this one, allowing our families this extra time to enjoy our once in a lifetime experience.

When I first read the price of admission, I was a little leery of doing it.

After the way we were treated, and the way they spent extra time with the kids letting them play with the dolphins for that few more minutes while people were waiting on the shore...

I would have paid double.

But don’t tell them that.

Shhhhh.

Our crews gathered around and had a few more photos taken, gave Jenny another quick kiss and we headed back to shore.

The girls were going to the salt water tank to snorkel.

Thank you God, for not letting them be around when the bubble burst on our perfect day. Amen.

Brother was going to go look for his wife. DH & I were following a very nice DC lady, she wanted to show us the photos they had taken. If she had been walking backwards, as they are trained to do, she would have seen the other very nice DC lady when she came running over and grabbed my arm.

She was apologizing like a mad woman.

She shocked me, I could even imagine why she was apologizing. She had to have me mistaken with another family. She obviously wasn't out there, she had missed Beatlebums moment. In my shock, I missed half of what she was saying.

"I will take you to guest services right now, and we will do what we can to rectify the situation."

We had a situation?
Who had a situation?

Lady, have you been in scruffys Xanax?

She saw the confusion on my face and asked me if I was with her and pointed over to Brothers wife who was standing up on the pathway, tearing someone a 'new one'.

"Nope" Dh said "Have no idea who that is."

I was standing there with my mouth open. People were gathering around, listening to Brothers wife raging about DC being a rip-off, she was going to sue, on and on she went.

Again, Thank you God, for not letting the girls be around for this. They would have been humiliated.

Its one thing to act silly in a public place. My crew is willing to embarrass themselves if they think one person will walk away, giggling.

It is quite another thing to scream like a crazy person at people who have gone above and beyond to make you happy.

Brother came over to me and asked me where the keys were to the van. I could tell he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

"What is that all about?" I asked poor Brother.

"She thought she was getting 1/2 hour of exclusive dolphin time. She's mad that she had to watch the video, and that she was in a group with other people." He told me.

Why, why, why did she think that? Did she read the lovely full color brochure they sent? It explained the entire experience in full detail, the only thing they had left out was the backwards walking and the special time that they gave our kids.

"Yes, the parts she wanted to read. '1/2 hour......dolphin swim'".

Dh likes to act silly, Dh likes to make people laugh. Dh has no problem with public displays of foolishness. Dh was dealing with the very nice apologizing DC lady. Dh wanted the earth to swallow him too.

She continued to rage on, pacing back and forth, hands flying in the air. More people gathered. More DC people came over and apologized. They were apologizing to Dh, Brother and myself because I think they were afraid of the screaming crazy lady on the pathway.

Chickens belong in the aviary. Beware of the Toucan.

Brother, Dh & I make our great escape to the locker to find the keys to the van. They were leaving for Tennessee. I was glad, but I was brokenhearted for Brother, who didn't deserve any of this. Our homecoming was over. We turned the corner of the lockers and... Hey, look, its Waldo!

That’s were Waldo was hiding.

Poor Waldo. Waldo is a proper, polite, southern gentleman. He is such a sweet guy. When he was with us on our little adventures, he would offer to carry Commando Nikki and Beatlebums bags. They would say no, he would continue to offer until Commando Nikki stopped and yelled at him "Why are you always trying to take my stuff?" 

Commando Nikki hadn't met to many proper, polite, southern gentlemen.

Brothers wife continued to rage up and down the pathway. People continued to gather and stare. She couldn't find us at the locker.

Dh kept his back turned while I searched everything in our locker in case a tampon made an unscheduled appearance. 

No keys.

I drove, I remembered locking the van, but I was upset about how bad the day started. Where were the keys?

Brothers wife was getting hotter.

I was panicking because I couldn't find the keys.

I was trying to comfort myself thinking that this couldn't get worse. It couldn't right? Then my cell phone rang.

"Mom, you're going to KILL me......."
 

10/06/2003 ~ Tears of a idiot

They had to pick me up off the floor. 

The last thing I remember is the swirling yellow birds and the tunnel with the white light.

"WHAT did you just say to me?" I asked my son through clenched teeth.

"The officer clocked me at 112 mph but only wrote the ticket for 103 mph." 

.
The last thing Brother & Dh told DS was don't speed in Georgia. You'll end up on the chain gang, they told him. As I repeated what DS said to DH & Brother, who were completely shocked, they said "Okay, but it wasn't in Georgia, right?"

It was in Georgia.

Of course it was in Georgia, why in the heck wouldn't it be in Georgia?

I don't think either of them ever imagined DS would try to drive that fast. 

Thanks alot Richard Petty, 

Love ya, mean it.

I managed to ask him if he was in jail, but he wasn't. He was more concerned with the fact that the ticket was almost $700. I started to rant and rave about how he could have been killed or he could have killed someone elce.

 For Gods sake! I used to be an EMT, I've told you the horror stories! I still didn't understand why he is not in jail, why is he trying to get himself killed, or trying to kill me, and I was heading for a meltdown.

 But not yet.

Brothers wife was still flipping out.

DC isn't big enough for two crazy people.

I needed to wait my turn.

By the way, uh, who is watching the girls? Scuba Steve & Delswife, parents of the year.

I told my son I was dealing with yet another Brothers wife problem and he had enough experience to know what I was talking about. 

We said our "love ya, mean its but I am not done dealing with you yet, get in line" and hung up.
 

Brother & I concluded that I did not have the stupid keys.

I offered him a tampon.

I was at my limits of what I could do.

Brother left to see if his wife had the keys without the tampon. 

Brave, brave Brother. That was the last I saw of him. We didn't even get to say goodbye.

Dh & I stopped to have a cigarette. It had never tasted better.

We remembered, oh yeah, we still had kids somewhere, and went looking for our girls.

Scuba Steve & Delswife, parents of the year.

We played in the water with the girls for a little while, when Em decided to climb out, on the rocks. 

The forbidden rocks. Stay off those rocks.

Em sure wishes she did.

The lifeguard yelled "Get that little BOY off the rocks!"
 

Em looked around for the little boy. She was super P-O'ed to find out SHE was the little boy.

Do you think my crew let her live that one down? She became the little boy who loved Chuck & Dave.

Dh & I headed back up to get something to drink. I was still a little full from drinking all the dolphin/people peed in water, but I wanted to call my mom anyway, so I joined him.

Mom brought me back to reality, because she is so very good at that. "So, how are you guys getting back to Disney?"

Hum, hadn't thought about that yet. We did just lose our ride. I had no clue about transportation from DC to Disney, and had no access to the Dis. I could be in trouble here.

"How much money do you have on you?"

14.., 15.., 16.., 16 dollars. Anyone want a Pepsi?

I had a debt card, with a nice little amount of Georges on it, there must have been someone around here that cared about that. I just hadn't withdrawn anything because of that mornings fun and excitement.

While I was on the phone to mom, filing her in on EVERYTHING and her telling me that someday, I would be able to look back and laugh, a very nice DC lady was heading straight at us.

Please, please, please don’t apologize to us, we can't take anymore.

"I was looking everywhere for you, would you like to see your photos?" 

Oh! This was the lady we were originally following, who doesn't backwards walk and had missed everything. I wondered how far she had walked talking to herself.

"Do we want to see our photos? Is a frogs bum water tight?" Dh jumped up and said. 

The scary thing is this lady works at DC and had to think about it.

Guess they dont have frogs.

I followed the very nice DC lady into a cabana with computers. Dh's ran off to find the girls and send them to the changing rooms for showers. Cathy was our photographer and began to show me the price list and our photos.

Cathy apologized to me for the problems earlier. That my friends, was the icing on the cake.

I started to cry.

Cathy started to cry.

Mr. & Mrs. Band-Aids started to cry.

I completely and totally unloaded on Cathy. I told her everything. She never saw that coming. I told her I wished they would please, stop apologizing to me. I told her that she was there, didn't she see Beatlebum? She was taking the pictures, didn't she know it wasn't us?

She saw Beatlebum. She knew it wasn't us.

She hugged me. Cathy was my newest best friend.

If we weren't at DC I would have sworn someone just threw pixie dust on me. It gets better.

I bought a disgusting amount of photos from Cathy, she is really a very talented photographer, if you can get her, do it. I also bought the video, because Beatlebums big day was on it.

I went to the women’s changing room and had the longest shower since our arrival. 

Commando Nikki was no where to be found with her stupid whistle.

I went to the front where you pick up your photos and they showed me a preview of what I had bought. 

Dh had collected the girls and met me there. Not at the changing room where I had told him, but that’s fine, failure to communicate, I guess.

Standing there with Commando Nikki looking at the photos to make sure it was indeed my family, I got all choked up.

Had it been anyone else, I am sure they would have seen this moment as something special.

I was the one traveling with the crazy lady. There was a panic.

There was more apologizing.

There were fine gifts and prizes.

I received several free DC screensavers. I swear there was pixie dust again.

Turned out to be a pretty good day after all.

Until the ATM machine tried to EAT my debit card. And Brother called.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Brother’s back

I could have thrown my phone into the lagoon. I didn't know what Brother had to say, I was hoping it was something along the lines of "It's just me and Waldo now. Lost Scruffy somewhere and the wife left with pigtails." 

It was wishful thinking. She doesn't let him go far on that leash.

We all loved Brother so much, and felt so bad for him that the vacation he waited a year for was going to be spent standing around in waiting gift-shops, not riding rides, seeing fireworks or shows with someone who may or not be slightly mentally unstable.

Wait we KNOW she's mentally unstable, saw it first hand.

The way I try to handle my vacation problems is to find humor in it. When Brothers wife was acting like a insane lunatic at DC and pacing up and down the pathway, when she got close to me, I silly-hopped and said "whoopies-do" to the side to get out of the way into Dh's arms for protection.

She didn't think it was funny, but Scuba Steve did.

I looked at it this way, there were only a couple things that really made me mad so far on this trip, but this was my vacation that I have looked forward to for a long time and NOBODY for any reason was going to take it away from me.
 

Come on, this is the happiest place on earth. People worldwide know that.

When Brother and I were kids, our father brought us to Disney twice a year, every year until he died.
This is the only place we can visit him.
This is where I know my kids will visit me when I die.
I will not leave behind "ugly" memories for them.
If my girls had seen how she was acting at DC, I probably would have come unglued. They didn't. Thier day so far went by unblemished.
And we were watching Illuminations together.
 

Somebody also gave me back that stupid stroller. Em was standing near the fence and it had no weight in it, so when I leaned back on it I went flying backwards causing to fling my hands wildly in the air over my head, which wouldn't helped me in anyway if I had fallen on my butt.

What were my hands thinking anyway?

Great, glad I found another creative way to get people to pay attention to me today.

Can never get enough of that.

Someone was faced with having to tell Dh the BIG news. So I distracted him with a beer. Dh rarely drinks so this was a happy surprise for him. He even did a little jiggie dance when I handed it to him. I told him that Brother hadn't left but there was something that he wanted to tell me, but my stinking phone went dead so we had to get back, quick, as soon as Illuminations ended.

Quick is for someone who hasn't rented a stroller.

Quick is for someone who isn't traveling with a 75lb. child with a 'rash'.
 

I did my best at dodging and weaving people when it was time to go. Stroller pushing is really walk two steps, stop, walk two steps, stop, walk two steps and hit that guy in the ankle. He swears at you, walk two steps.....Band-Aid sales increased. I had to give it up in Mexico. I decided it was better to let this horde of stroller-cutting off people go out first. We caught up on our people watching, observing mostly the black belt stroller pushers. Those are the people with experience and we were taking notes. These people believe that putting their child in that thing will make it faster to get around the park. I was thinking it would be faster to buy a blanket in Mexico and drag her around behind me.

Well, it WOULD be.

We returned the stroller to the 'stroller parking garage' and I received a fine prize that I didn't expect.

One Disney dollar.

Beatlebum & Em had never seen one. They gathered around to admire this lovely parting gift. They couldn't get over the fact that is was special Disney money.

You'd have thought the lady handed me a brand new car. There were some 'joy tears'.
 

We went to the buses with a now angry 75lb. child with a 'rash' because we weren't going on the monorail. Commando Nikki was demanding what our plans were for the next day so she could get us moving. Beatlebum was admiring her new 'dollar'.

When we got to POR Brother was sitting outside with Waldo. I was so happy to see them. I told him I didn't get his entire message. He said "I just wanted you to know that she promises to behave herself. I just had to get her out of there."

No kidding, ya think?

"We are just going to go do our own thing. We can just meet up here at the end of the day."

No kidding, YA THINK?

I hugged him and Waldo. I really was glad they hadn't left and was going to be happy to at least see him daily. I was still sorry he and Waldos vacation had to go into the toilet. I was happy to get what I could.

They said there 'goodnights' and went to bed.

Dh & I needed to do laundry. I told Dh they should have 'loaner' laundry baskets, as I was afraid I might have to carry my dirty underwear around in my hands through POR.

He suggested a shopping bag.

He is the smartest guy I have met. Good to have around.

I must have been tired.

With a sigh of relief, we loaded up the shopping bag and took our dirty underwear through POR undetected. I think we may have even been tip-towing, but it felt like we walked 47 miles to the laundry room going around corners, through hallways.

Had we checked the map, we would have known the laundry room was to the left of our door, behind a bush about 15 feet away.

There were two seeming nice ladies in there doing there laundry, we joked around with them, there were some good times while we were in there. Dh & I went out and sat next to the pool and chatted while we waited for our clothes to dry.

Dh & I finally got to bed about 2:00 am.

It wasn't until the next morning I discovered the theft.....
 

10/6/2003 ~ Oops! Pardon me!

We had been abandoned. I had sixteen dollars in my pocket and no idea how we were going to get back to Disney. The girls had been briefed by Dh, there could be a chance that all the walking we had done so far, was going to be small potatoes.

Commando Nikki and Beatlebum were to busy doing the "happy dance" because brothers wife had left the building, they didn't know or care why.

Em was still ticked that she was mistaken for a boy.

Dh was very useful in finding an ATM machine. He, however, would have no part of using one. Dh doesn't even write checks, they feel too much like permission slips to him. Yes, heres a note from my wife saying I can buy something, I really, really do have some money. I am just not allowed to HANDLE money. Could I buy something please? It cash or nothing with him.

I put my ATM card into the slot and it was immediately sucked up. I pushed the buttons, but they didn't move. I hit the okay button, thinking that it would spit my card back out. The machine sounded an alarmingly loud beep, notifying everyone in the immediate area that there was a problem.

Commando Nikkis whistle had nothing on this sound.
 

Oh, good, not enough people have paid attention to me today.

A very nice DC lady (walking forward) came over and I through myself against the ATM machine, trying to get it to shut it up. She informed me the machine was broken and if I just wait, it would time out and I would get my card back.

Why didn't they have a sign on the machine saying it was broken? Did they feel the need to subject me to further public displays? She was right, it timed out and I got my card back.

I am never sticking my card into another machine, EVER.

I should have known it was time for me to set off an alarm.
 

I walked back over to the crew, Beatlebum and Commado Nikki are giggling about something. 

They were talking about me, giggling behind thier hands, pointing at me. I'm thinking they have just gotten a kick out of mom throwing herself against the screaming alarm sounding ATM machine.

Nope. That wasn't it.

Back when we were in the water with Jenny, they had us line up next to her for a family photo. They told us to put one hand on Jennys back. I had no problem with that.

However..

I was in the back near Jenny's tail. I was still pretty traumatized from the beating I had received earlier I guess, because for some reason I put my other hand under her tail.

Do you know where I am going with this?

That’s right, I, Delswife, put my other hand directly on the part of Jenny, that makes 'her' Jenny.

I jerked my hand away and apologized to Jenny for the violation. Beatlebum had heard me and was updating Commando Nikki. She must have simply forgotten the part where I said it was a secret.
 

How many of you can say you have touch a dolphin..uh..there?

I plan on setting fire to my hand as soon as I finish my trip report.

Now, we are in a pickle that I hadn't planned on. Commando Nikki was starting to get jumpy because DC was closing and we had to get back to her first love, Disney. She knew that the world showcase in epcot would still be open by the time we got back there, and she wasn't going to wait any longer. She demanded to know what the hold up was.

"I have sixteen dollars in my pocket, how far do you think thats going to take us?" I told her, with my hands on my hips.

Beatlebum whipped into action and produced $40 from her bag. I sprung back in shock.

You could have saved us a ton of time if you had done that earlier little girl.

We started to go back out to the lobby, when we were stopped by yet another very nice DC lady.

She wanted to know if we had picked up out complementary family photo from this morning.
 

Why no, we hadn't.

She took us to the front desk and gave them our name. A look of fear came over the person behind the counter.

Then the apologizing began again. "We are so sorry, so very sorry" 

Dh & I just rolled our eyes. "But the angry lady you were with picked up the photo."

Huh?

She stopped by for the free photo?

This was a memory she wanted to cherish?

By the time Dh & I got off the floor and were finished laughing Commando Nikki had us a cab a the front door.

We said our good-byes to DC and climbed in the cab, Beatlebum was still beaming from her big day.

We went directly to Epcot from DC. As much excitement as we had had at DC, it felt good to be home.

I missed Brothers phone call, it went directly to my voice mail. I noticed it in Norway.
 

10/6/2003 ~ Strollers and sunburns

One very important thing for any traveler to remember is if you are going to rely on taxi cabs as a mode of transportation it is very important to make friends with the driver. This is the person who holds the fate of you and your family for the next several miles.

He needs to become your new best friend.

I had no Xanax and had no clue where Scruffy was.

We always make friends with the cab drivers, I never knew some people just get in the cabs and quietly travel to their destination. He seemed a bit nervous that we were chatting so much with him. Our driver was a very nice man with a heavy accent.

I realize I just described many, many cab drivers.

The heavy accented cab driver brought us to the gate of Epcot in a matter of a few minutes for the bargain price of $22. I handed him $30, and he told me I gave him too much money.

This was my first and only encounter in the state of Florida where anyone ever tried to give me money back.
 

He doesn't work for that bad company, you remember the bad company, right? (psss...star limo/taxi)
I explained to the very nice cab driver with the heavy accent that it was a tip. I paid for a lot of my vacation with tips and I am a very good tipper in return.

Apparently, tipping is a small town in china to some people.

We were laughing, singing, having a ball and gathered at the turnstiles for our usual routine of ticket exchange when I noticed Em.

Em was still ticked for being mistaken for a boy.

But Em was walking very bowlegged. Big smile on her face, swinging her arms, singing "Hakuna Matata"  but keeping her feet as far apart as she could. I stopped her to see what the problem was.

"I have a rash." She calmly says.
 

This child obviously had no sense of pain. She had more than a rash, the skin between her thighs was completely raw. I was thinking that we should go back to the room and see what could be done about it, but Em wasn't leaving and I really needed HER there to solve the problem.

The little boy that loved Chuck & Dave was become a true Disney Commando. By the time she's her sisters age she could easily be Master Gunnery Sargent.

Commando Nikki has the great idea of getting her a stroller to ride around in so the "rash" doesn't get worse. (I never thought of going to first aid, not once.)

This was the day I had a whole new respect for people who must push a stroller or wheelchair around Disney. I earn my living from being a driver, you would think a stroller would be a piece of cake.

It's not.

I bloodied some people that day.

We went into the "golf ball" first where we were quickly educated about the 'stroller parking lot'. CM's don’t want you to try to stuff the stroller in the ride seat with you. They get 'funny' about it.

We began our journey through the history of communications and I sat back, prepared to enjoy a bit of a rest and some air conditioning.
 

But it was hot in there and getting hotter.

We get pretty close to the top of the ride, just before the seat turned around and the ride came to a complete stop.

We were getting sweaty.

We were told to remain in the seats that the ride would begin again soon. Dh & I were behind the girls who were having trouble maintaining the no skin-to-skin contact rules.

By the time we emerged from the golf ball we had stopped three times. We were all a sticky sweaty mess. This is also the point that I realized...

We all have sunburns. That is why it was so durned hot in there.

Sunburns to my crew are weapons.

We had forgotten about the stroller, because the 'stroller parking lot' isn't anywhere near the exit. Em had to walk a few bowlegged feet before we remembered.

Tough kid.
 

Dh ran back to collect the stroller when Commando Nikki and Beatlebum had an altercation of some kind, Commando Nikki touched Beatlebum sunburned shoulder and said "Love ya, mean it."

See, a fun new weapon.

We wanted to go on test track to test the degree of sunburns we had, but the line was out
the door and they weren't giving fast passes.

Norway was looking pretty good. Not because of the beautiful people there, but because of the beautiful desserts they sell there.

Our crew thought eating around the world sounded like a fun thing to do, so we stopped in Norway first for our beautiful desserts.

On the way, I took out three innocent bystanders with the stroller.

It has been years since I personally pushed a stroller. I have become accustomed to things with motors and brakes. Whenever I had to stop short because the one-zillionth person walked in front of me, I nearly went over the top of it.
 

There were a lot of "Love ya, mean its"

We arrived at the beautiful dessert store in Norway and I thought the stroller would fit seeing where there was no stroller parking lot near by.

It didn't. I got the stroller and Em stuck sideways in the isle.

Commando Nikki was acting very strange, hiding behind her hand, looking everywhere except where Em & I were trapped. I asked her several times to help me out, but she wouldn't acknowledge me at all. 

What’s wrong with you?

Em bailed on me. She took off in a bowlegged run to the display case. I was on my own, still trapped.
Dh came to my rescue, un-wedged me and the stroller from the isle where several people had started to 'bunch up'. He took the stroller away from me, the wisest thing he had done to date.

Commando Nikki was still acting very strange. She had ordered a beautiful strawberry tart thing and another lady came along and took it from her. Just walked in the shop and took it right out of her hand. 

Normally Commando Nikki isn't one to back down from someone, especially someone who took away her beautiful strawberry tart thing. But she just giggled and looked at the floor.
 

Normally I would have spoken up to this lady, however, she had two really wild kids in tow and I felt sorry for her. She had enough to deal with.

I paid for all our beautiful desserts and told them we needed them to go. Everyone except Commando Nikki had a lid. I told her to go back in and ask for a lid.

"No." she said

"Why?" I asked

"Can't" she said

"Why?" I asked again. We can do this all night, love
 

She looked at her feet. Her sister, Beatlebum cleared it up for us. "Because of the cute boy in there."

The beautiful Norway boy has now replaced the hot guys in kilts with electric guitars over in
Canada.

The World Showcase is for teens after all.

We continued to Japan to the "Yucky-tori" house. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but the only thing we could eat was the rice. I got Dh saki.

He has never had saki before.

He didn't like it, or so he said. I never saw him take a drink of it, he seems pretty concerned because it was a hot drink and all he kept doing was smelling it. I took it way from him and I DONT KNOW WHY sat it in front of Beatlebum.

She didn't want it either.
 

We threw out the rest of our meal, because it was really yucky. "That’s why its called the Yucki-tori house" Em explained to me. I know she is still baffled by why we would deliberately go to a place that tells you right up front that its 'yucky.'

We settled down on the ground in front of America to watch Illuminations and eat our beautiful desserts. I was sad Brother was missing it. I was a mix of emotions, I wanted to get away from her but she took Brother with her. Dh knew how upset I was, and put his arm on my shoulder.

Right on my sunburn.

Love ya, mean it, Don't touch me.

As the fireworks started and the kids jumped up to watch, I happened to look at my cell phone for the time.

That is when I noticed I had a message.

It was Brother.

I wanted to cry a little, I missed him and was sorry he had to go back to Tennessee.

"Hello, Sister, it is Brother. We have decided to try to stick it out for another day and see how it goes. I thought I'd let you also know that...."

The battery went dead on my cell.